Odyssey Of K
by thegreatdjsin
Summary: Keitaro is introduced to Ranma and Akane... the Hard way. I saw an extreme lack of good RanmaHina Fics out there, so i finally am taking matters into my own hands. CHAPTER 7 is up! After like, 2 days. Im gettin better. kinda.
1. Introduction

Welcome to my world! Well, this is my first published fanfic... and the only non-lemon one i have done as well... i like 3 periods... it is cool........ Advice: NEVER watch or read Excel Saga! You will never be the same! oh... prettiey!

Ehem... excuse my friend there. He won't be writing this fic, fortunately. I do the writing.

AND I do the evil type thinkin!

Um... yes. As far as the Disclaimer goes...

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. At all. I am the poorest man alive. If you truly feel the need to sue, you might get a couple of pairs of mismatched dirty socks. And hair gel. Lots of hair gel.

Tis my first, be gentle! Aka(NO Flames! They will be use to light my trashcan fire).

Thoughts {}

The Odyssey of K

Chapter 1

Urashima Keitaro Scraped himself off the pavement rather painfully.

"Ugh. She sure hits hard. I didn't mean to trip... and land in her chest... again. My life sucks."

Keitaro covered his eyes from the bright morning sun, scanning his surroundings.

"I wonder where I landed this time? Sure is a nice day though..."

Just then, a yell can be heard coming from somewhere in the sky, off to Keitaro's right.

"What in the hell..." CRASH!

"Wow! That guy hit that trash can pretty hard..."

Keitaro runs over to the fallen fellow.

"Hey, You ok?"

"Ung. Damn that tomboy! Why did she hit me this time?"

Just then a rather cute looking girl with a horrific scowl on her face comes stomping toward the two men.

"Ranma no Baka! Why are you flirting with that Shampoo again?"

Keitaro got an odd look on his face. {Flirting with shampoo? To each his own I guess...}

"Aw Akane, I wasnt flertin with her! She was all graby again!" Said this Ranma person.

"As If! All you ever do is is flirt with everything with a chest and two legs, you perv!" screamed the girl, obviously named Akane.

At this point, the girl called Akane started to glow a strange, very scary colour of blue. The boy named Ranma started to back away rapidly while flailing his arms in front of his face protectively. "Come on Akane... ya already hit me once... come on, um hey AHHHHHHH!" Ranma screamed as he was propelled int LEO courtesy Akane airlines.

At this point, Akane looks pointedly at the man next to her. "And what are YOU looking at?"

"umm... ah... Nothing!" At this point, Keitaro makes a hasty exit. {My life may suck... but not as bad as that Ranma fellows!}

As Keitaro runs he thinks back on the strange scene that took place only moments before. Keitaro suddenly stops running as the Ranma bomb falls scant inches from where Keitaro was planning to step next. "Woa!" Said Keitaro as he backpedaled furiously.

"STUPED UNCUTE TOMBOY WITH GORRILA THIGHTS!" Yells Ranma, who somehow stood up after his landing as if nothing at all had happened.

"THICK HEADED LETCHER!" Akane screamed back.

{I think it would be a good idea to get out of here REAL quick.}

Keitaro continues running as Ranma and Akane continue to throw insults at each other.

The last things that Keitaro heard before he blacked out was Ranma Yelling "BUILT LIKE A BRICK!" and a loud whistling sound, followed by a loud CRACK!

"Oops..." Says an embarrassed Akane after realizing that her thrown mallet missed its intended target and hit poor Keitaro instead...

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Hope you liked my first chapter! I know its rather short, but I plan to write at least 3 chapters a week.

R&R much appreciated. I will be more likely to post the next chapters after I see a little interest.

As for where this is going, I am as much in the dark as you are. If I try to do something specific in my writing, it ends up all weird and junk.

As for my authors opening... I had a little to much to drink, not to mention that I had just finished Reading volume 3 of Excel Saga... That show does weird things to you sometimes...


	2. The Pandaman

Tis The Great Chapter The Second.

-Insert disclaimer here-

I'm tired. No rant today.

Thoughts {}

Pandaspeek []

Odyssey of K

Chapter 2

"Ugh..." Keitaro made a low moan as he rubbed his sore and now unusually large head. {Feels like an elephant thought my head was a chair or something}

"Ah, so he is awake." a rather regal looking man with a thick mustache was leaning over him. Right next to him was a rather fat panda, who simple growled in agreement as he held up a wooden sign.

"Growrrler," [So it seems Tendo]

{So the mustache man is named Tendo}

"Is he alright?" asked the girl named Akane worriedly.

"Your lucky he has a thick skull, otherwise you'd be in jail now, Akane," said Ranma matter-of-factly.

"Oh shut UP Ranma! Your the cause of all this mess! If you hadn't dodged my mallet, he would be fine right now.

"uncute tomboy," Ranma whispered under his breathe.

"I heard that..." Akane growled.

"Hey, hey, I didn't say nothin'!" exclaimed Ranma, once again flailing is arms around, in a vain attempt to ward off the inevitable blow.

"Ranma, Akane, now is not the time to fight," Tendo admonished. "We have an injured civilian here because of your fighting, so I would appreciate it if you would hold off for a while..."

[Hey! Look! He's Fully up!]

Everyone turned their attention an the young man with the planet sized lump on his head.

"Ow... feels like a gorilla pounded on my head for an hour," Keitaro said as he gingerly touched the lump on his head.

Akane's eye twitched and a vain popped out of her forehead. Ranma suppressed a chuckle, getting a slap across the face for his trouble. Keitaro just stared with a confused look on his face.

"Just one question," Keitaro said. All eyes focused on him."Why would you be mad at someone for flirting with a bottle of shampoo?"

Everyone in the room just stared at the ronin as he scratched the back of his head.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" everyone in the room started laughing so hard that they started rolling around on the floor. Tendo even laughed so hard he cried. (Like THATS unusual...)

Keitaro's confused expression simply deepened. "Was it something I said?"

It took a good 5 minutes for everyone to recover from their laughing fit.

"No, haha, Shampoo is, hahaha, my fieonce," Ranma explained as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Oh. But why would she beat you up for flirting with your fieonce?"

"Because he has 3 of them!" Akane practically growled.

"EH!?"

"It's all my stupid pop's fault." Ranma stated, again in his confident mater-of-fact manner.

"Oh... How is it his fault?"

"He traded me for food when I was a baby."

"What kind of father would do such a thing?"

"A bastard one thats who."

As Keitaro and Ranma continued their dialog, The panda's sweatdrop increased steadily in size. [You don't have to slander you old man ya know.]

Ranma takes the sign from the panda and baps him into next week with it.

"It's all your fault ya fat panda!"

One again Keitaro scratches his head as a large sweatdrop started forming. "Are you so sure that was a good idea?

Just as he finishes the panda appears out of nowhere(Time slip maybe?) and procedes to try and rip Ranma's head of with a pair of signs that read : [I am the mighty panda!] [Hear me squeak!]

After the initial attack the two fighters square off against each other. By this point the sweatdrop on Keitaro's head looks like Niagara Falls. {This can't be good...}

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Another short and sweat chapter. In case you were wondering about the cliffhanger, We may know what is about to happen, but poor Keitaro sure as hell doesn't.

Ja ne

The Great DJSin


	3. The Battle of Pandamanium

… MWAHAHAHAHA! Guess what? 'Tis time for another chapter! Got my first review ever! Thanks!

The Rant: Most people think that school gets in the way of Fanfic writing, however this is really the only time that I have access to the Internet to upload my fics. So the updates during the summer will be kinda lean. Don't worry though, I will just keep writing the chapters, and upload them in bulk! (Kinda like those bulk fries… mmm fries.)

Disclaimer: Guess what? I'm still poor! However, if you really want to pursue the matter, I just got another MATCHED pair of socks! And a Bulk box of Frito's! (Just don't take my Frito's please). All praise Akamatsu-Sama! All praise Takahashi-sama!

Thoughts {}

Pandaspeak []

Odyssey of K

Chapter 3

(The battle of Pandamanium)

The opponents faced off. The shadows cast an eerie light upon the two strange combatants. The wind suddenly picked up, blowing the young man Ranma's ponytail to the left behind him. His opponent, the great PandaMan (So says his sign ) lets his large panda lips curl into a scowl.

[I'm gonna get you for that boy!]

"Ha! Like ya stand a chance in hell of winning ya fat panda!" Ranma's eye twitched slightly as he said this. "Ya shoulda stayed in next week!" With that Ranma lunged at his opponent!

KERSPLASH!

"GROWER!"

"Whadya do that for ya old fart!" came a very distinctly female voice from the pond. Keitaro's eyes literally popped out of his head as the Niagara sized sweatdrop doubled in size. {holy SHIT! He turned into a girl! What the $% is going on here?}

Just then, the panda grabbed a steaming kettle of water from thin air {How did he do that!}and poured it over his head.

Keitaro's eyes turned into swerlies at this point, as the PandaMan turned into a fat bald man.

"Haha!" Laughed The Great PandaMan, otherwise known as Genma. Ranma(?) comes running up and uppercuts Genma into the lower stratosphere.

"Serves ya right old man!" She yelled after him. She looks down at Keitaro. "Aw man! Now he's passed out again!"

Ranma just looked at him funny, than all of a sudden it came to him, "Oh! He don't know about the curses, huh?"

Akane just looked at him with that, EVIL look of her's and said "Ranma no baka."

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Very short chapter. Yup. Short. The reason behind the short chapters is the fact that the chapters are divided by subject, ya know, the battle is one, the intro is one, the waking up is one...  
Anyway, enough ranting. Next chapter will probably be up sometime today or tomorrow!

Ja ne

The Great DJSin


	4. What The ?

HEHEHE reviews! Thank you all for the reviews! I'm thinking about what people are saying about my chapters, and I think that I will start to increase the length a little bit. As I said in the bottom of chapter 3, I plan on making on subject one chapter. I'll just make the subjects include more J.

Disclaimer: Guess what! I have a big bag of chips! If you are hungry, go ahead and sue!

Odyssey of K

Chapter 4

(What the $%&?!)

"Ugh." For what was the second time that day, Keitaro woke up in a strange place. {That had to have been a dream… Wait a minute, where am I?}

Keitaro was looking around to figure out where he was, when he spotted the girl-type Ranma.

{So it wasn't a dream.} "How do you do that?" Keitaro looked at Ranma waiting for an answer.

"Well, It's kinda a long story." Replied Ranma while scratching the back of his/her head. "But it is actually a curse."

"A curse?"

"Yup. A couple of years ago, me an my pop went to china on a training trip. Well, my idiot pop can't read Chinese, well, nether can I, but that's not the point, and we went to the cursed springs of Josenkyo. Josenkyo is a place with a bunch of springs with bamboo pole stickin' out of 'em, an' they're all cursed by what drowned in 'em last."

"That's kind of far fetched, isn't it?"

"Na… I'm living proof, ain't I?"

"Well, I guess…"

"Well, to make a long story short, I kicked my pop into a spring of drowned panda, an' he kicked me into a spring of drowned girl."

"Oh. How do the curses work anyway?"

"When I get splashed with cold water, I turn into a girl, when I get splashed by hot water I turn back into a guy."

"Um… that's kind of strange…"

"Ya, I know. I always wondered why it works that way…"

"Hey, what's your name, anyway?"

"Saotome Ranma, but ya can call me Ranma."

"Oh. My name is Urashima Keitaro. Nice to meet you… OH! What time is it?"

"Its about 2:30 in the afternoon."

"…" {Holy shit! How long have I been here? Narusegawa is gunna kick my ass again!} "I have to get going before everyone wonders where I am."

"Oh. Well, it was nice meetin' ya. Drop by again!" Snicker.

{Oh ha ha.} "See you." At that Keitaro began the long trek home. As he was walking he realized that he recognized the area. {Oh! I know where I am! I'm in Nerima… Oh man, I have one hell of a walk. Damn Naru punched me hard today.}

Meanwhile, back at Hinata-sou, the tenants were beginning to worry.

Well, I'm going to end it here, seeing as how the next subject is coming up. Oh, and don't worry, Ranma and the gang will play a big part in this fic soon enough.

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Ja ne.

The Great DJSin


	5. Shinobu, Motoko, and Perverts, Oh My

The Author can be seen bowing as deep to the ground as possible. The Author then rises. "I am truly sorry that I did not update my glorious story sooner. The flames have kept me warm at night. Before you attempt to kill me, allow me to describe the hell that has become my life… um never mind, you don't care, do you. sob no one does. Anyway, several people close to me have passed away recently, and as such I was not in the proper state of mind to write a story of this type. I have been working on an original angst fiction, maybe I'll release it someday.

Enough of my ramblings though.

Disclaimer: I have nothing left. My box was repossessed last week. My dog died. He choked on the cat. Who choked on the goldfish. Who was eaten by the cat. Who was eaten by the dog.

Thoughts ' '

Pandaspeek® ()

Sound effects ALLCAPS

Odyssey of K

Chapter 5

(Shinobu, Motoko, and Perverts, Oh My)

The Sun shone upon the quiet and ancient structure, the birdsong like the lulling of Angels upon a great and beautiful sea. A light breeze blew the clothing hanging upon the clothesline like wind chimes. A young blue-haired girl can be seen hanging more clothing on this beautiful summer's day. But all was not well. For an evil, an evil beyond reckoning was watching this young girl with gleaming, dark, cesspools of darkness. And, as suddenly as a great tsunami crashing upon the ocean shore, the demon struck! In one instant, all of the silky undergarments that were hanging upon the clothesline were gone. The only evidence of their passing was a insane cackle, and the words, those dreaded words, "What a haul! What a haul!" A scream, and the gleaming of a sword was upon the demon! But he proved to be too fast for the brave swordswoman, who was swept aside like a rag doll.

SCREECH

Hold on a friggin minute! WHO THE $#$ is writing this &? Sorry for the fault in the fanfiction, the author responsible has been shot in the ass. We now return you to the proper writing style.

"HALT PERVERT!" screamed Motoko as she picked herself up off the roof.

"Mua ha ha ha! You will never catch me girly!" Yelled the aforementioned pervert.

Konno "Kitsune" Mitsune just watched the pervert pass until Motoko screamed, "He has our underwear!!"

Kitsune's eyes opened just a crack, and closed as quickly. NOT a good sign. "Panty thief!"

Narusegawa Naru was walking by at that moment, and asked Kitsune what Keitaro had done this time.

"It's not Keitaro, it's some shriveled old man with a sack of panties on his back! After him!"

Kitsune, Shinobu, Naru, Motoko, and now Su with her Mecha-Tama Mark V were chasing the Great Demon Pervert around the Hinata compound.

"Mecha-Tama Missiles Fire!" yelled Su.

A large volley of patriot missiles homed in on the Pervert.

But, at the last possible second, he jumped out of the path of the missiles, causing them to strike and destroy one of the many trees along the long staircase pathway to the street below. This allowed the Pervert to escape unscathed, if not slightly browned.

"Mua ha ha! What a haul! What a haul! Ha ha ha!" The Great Pervert ran away, into the sunset.

"Damn! He got away!" cursed Naru, "And it actually wasn't Keitaro who did it." At this realization, Naru grew confused. "Keitaro actually had nothing to do with a perverted act?"

"Earth shattering, isn't it?" Asked Kitsune sarcastically.

Motoko just rolled her eyes. "Let us get back to the Hinata-sou and see if we cannot recover some of our undergarments."

"Good idea," agreed Kitsune.

"Is undagamits a snack? Is it good?" Asked Koalla Su.

"No, undergarments is the proper term for panties and braziers."

"Oh. Are Bazeres tasty?"

"NO!"

"Wanna play?"

"Not right now"

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And so, the lives of the Hinata crew have returned to somewhat normalcy. But what of Keitaro, what of Ranma, and where in the HELL am I going with this?

… I actually HAVE been working on a plot, and all questions will be answered in due time.

I am sorry my hiatus took so long, but I will try to write at least one chapter a week.

I had to change my formatting a little because of the DAMN QUICKEDIT ON !!!

The Great DJSin, Aka. BalrogBob


	6. LOTI: Return of the Kei

So I took forever. Sue me. (Wait, don't do that… I still have no money.)

Disclaimer: I was gonna copy and past a disclaimer from another fic... but then I would have had to write a disclaimer for the disclaimer... weird.

' ' thoughts

Pandaspeek

ALL-CAPS sound effects

The Odyssey of K

Chapter 6

(LOTI: The Return of the Kei)

'So good to be back in Hinata...' thought Keitaro as he walked towards the inn he was Manager of. 'I wonder if anything interesting happened while I was gone... probably not.'

ZOOM! "What a haul, what a haul!" SMACK!

The great pervert crashed into Keitaro, spilling his panties all over him.

"Ouch... Huh?" Keitaro notices the panties. 'Hey, these look like Kitsune's panties...' Keitaro looks at the small man in front of him. "AHHH! A dried mummy man!"

SMACK! WOOSH! CRASH!

Happi whacks Keitaro with his pipe, knocking Keitaro into a nearby tree. "Have respect for you elders boy!" Happi notices that his precious, beautiful, silky darlings are all over the ground. "NOOO! My silky darlings! YOU!" Happi points at Keitaro. "Me?" "Yes you!"

SMACK CRASH SMUSH SICK SOUND CRACKLE!

"OWWW!" Keitaro screams in excruciating pain. "Never touch my silky darlings again! You'll get them dirty..." Happi Huggles (WTF? Huggles?) the panties to his chest and runs off. 'That... was weird,' thought Keitaro.

Keitaro heads back towards the Hinata-sou, not noticing the silky black panty clinging to his back...

DUM DUM DOOOOOOOM!

Oh no. Another cliffhanger. I bet you didn't see that coming did you? MWAHAHAHA. Two guesses as to what is going to happen to Keitaro when he gets back... Poor, poor, Keitaro... always getting beat up... (un?)lucky bastard.

About the LOTI: it means Lord of the Inn... just a play on the title of the final LOTR book.

Until Next chapter... JA NE!

The Great DJSin aka BalrogBob


	7. Its not my fault!

Updates taste like burning.

' ' Thoughts

ALL-CAPS actions

**Bold PandaSpeek**

Odyssey of K

Chapter 7

(Its not my fault!)

Keitaro is walking. Walking up the stairs. So many stairs… 'Ugh. I hate all these steps…' thinks Keitaro sourly. 'I wonder if anyone even noticed that I was gone so long… oh well.'

"Hey 'Taro!" yells Su, right in Keitaro's ear. "AHHHH! Oh. Hello Su-chan."

"Was ya doin?

"Umm… walking up the steps."

"OKIES! " At that, Su runs up the steps.

'Ok… that was weird…' Keitaro walks the rest of the way up the steps in silence.

"Naru! Guess what?" asks Su. "What Su?"

" 'Taros Back!"

"Huff! So?" Naru turns her nose up toward the sky. "Why would I care if that pervert came back?" "Because it might leave a nasty taste in your mouth if he didn't."

"Oh, hi Haruka." 'Where the hell did she come from?' At that moment, Keitaro walks in the door.

"I'm home. Hi Narusegawa. Hi Aunt Haruka." SMACK! (Two guesses as to who did that.)

At that moment, Kitsune walks in. "Heya Ronin. What took you so long?"

"I landed in Nerima."

"Damn… Naru is gettin stronger…" That is when Naru notices something clinging to Keitaro's back.

"What's this?" Naru grabs it… and gets a really nasty sneer on her face.

"Hey, those look like my panties." Comments Kitsune.

'Uh oh…' thinks Keitaro. 'I'm gunna die…'

By this time Naru is glowing red, and Keitaro is backing away, waving his arms in a warding gesture… a lot like what Ranma does when Akane goes on a killing… ehem Malleting spree…

"Umm… h-how di-did that get t-there? Ehehehe…"

"Keitaro… you… PERVERT! You sent that little Letcher to get our underwear! DIE!"

The last conscious thought that crossed Keitaro's poor brain was: 'Letcher? What letcher?'

Muahaha! Poor Keitaro… I wonder what is going to happen to him next? In our next exiting installment: RAGE! Keitaro goes berserk!

Ja ne!

The Great DJSin aka BalrogBob

ps... quick edit sucks ass. it wont let me use brackets. WTF is wrong with brackets?


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